A few firsts

Melina has experienced a few firsts lately! These were all around her three-month birthday.

First dip in a mountain stream (toes only): around July 22, in Early Winters Creek
First visit to an alpine meadow: around July 23 (she slept)
First visit to an alpine lake: the same day
First time hearing the peeping of pikas: the same day (maybe she heard them in her sleep)
First encounter with a deer: around the same time
First toes in the grass: yesterday, July 27
First time noticing herself in the mirror (with a big smile!): yesterday

What a busy baby!

Sleeping through the night

Melina just started sleeping through the night at around 2.5 months. Technically, "sleeping through the night" means they sleep five hours in a row. The first time she "slept through" was when we were camping out at the Oregon Country Fair; at that point she slept until 4:00 am a few times, which was new territory. Then when we went camping last week in the North Cascades she started sleeping until 6:30 a.m.! She's backtracked to 5:00 a.m. now, but that's a huge improvement over being woken up several times a night. After I feed her at 5:00, she goes right back to sleep until 8 or 9. Maybe we should go camping more often so she'll sleep all the way through. It seems to agree with her.

SIDS

A woman from my pregnancy listserv just lost her baby to SIDS. He had been about 3 months premature, and she went through terrible postpartum depression -- and now this. I can't imagine anything worse. I don't think there really is anything worse. My heart goes out to her -- I can't imagine the pain she must be feeling. At the same time, I'm selfishly trying to come up with reasons it could never affect MY baby. I guess that's just a way of not dealing with the reality that bad things happen to everyone. Melina doesn't have any of the risk factors for SIDS (she's a girl; she was born on time (late even) and had a high birthweight; we don't smoke; I'm not under 20; etc.) , but I have a feeling I will be checking on her more in the nights to come. So much for sleeping peacefully.

Three-month stats

Melina had her three-month checkup on Tuesday. She weighed 12 lbs 4 oz, which is the 50th percentile (exactly in the middle of normal). However, she was in the 95th percentile for length and the 75th percentile for head circumference. She's a stringbean!

Melina's First Country Fair

Last weekend was Melina's first trip to the Oregon Country Fair. It's a three-day hippie festival held in the woods outside Eugene, and we go almost every year. There's lots of music, good food, costumes, camping, and creativity. Melina seemed to enjoy it. She spent most of the time in the front pack on Jeff, though sometimes we held her over our shoulders or in front of us so she could see what was going on. She got lots of smiles from passers-by. Camping wasn't a problem at all. We used my parents' VW bus, and Melina slept in her Moses basket swaddled up like a little mummy. She actually slept better for those three nights than any time before or since. *I* did not sleep well, though, and am still recovering. Next weekend we head to the North Cascades in Washington for another adventure!

Names we call Melina

Here are a few names we've called Melina:

In utero:

the grub
the peanut
the alien

Once born:

the midget (little midge, the wild midget from hell)
Honey Girl
Pinky, little Pinky
little girl
Babe
Squirmy McSquirm

I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of them at the moment, so I'll add them later.

A Typical Day

Here's a typical day in Melina's world. We'll start with her last feeding of the night.

9:00 p.m. Eat. Sleep on dad's shoulder while he surfs web or watches soccer.
11:00 p.m. Get changed and swaddled; eat again if hungry. Lights out; fall asleep.
3:30 a.m. Begin grunting softly. Eat. Go back to sleep.
5:30 a.m. Begin grunting in earnest. Eat again. Grunt loud enough to keep mom awake, but not loud enough to wake dad.
8:00 a.m. Dad leaves for work. Get changed, if awake.
8:00-9:00 a.m. Make sure mom is really awake. Begin standing, walking and flying practice.
9:00 a.m. Cry a bit. Take nap on belly with butt sticking up in air.
10:30 a.m. Lay on back and stare around bathroom while mom showers. Cry if she doesn't pay enough attention.
11:00 a.m. Eat.
11:30 a.m. Sit in car seat or swing and cry while mom tries to wolf down breakfast.
11:45 a.m. Rest on mom's shoulder and look around while she reads email.
12:00 p.m. Get put in car seat. Depending on mood, either smile or cry. Get driven somewhere.
12:30 p.m. Arrive at destination and look around. Possibly get stuffed into baby carrier; if so, cry a bit while stuffing is completed.
1:00 p.m. Sleep during whatever activity mom has planned.
3:30 p.m. Get put back in hated car seat. Look around quietly for a few minutes. When traffic jam is sensed, commence crying. Cry as if heart is breaking. Mom will stop car, replace binkie, and comfort. When car begins moving again, recommence crying.
4:00 p.m. Be calmed again by mom. Begin nap.
6:30 p.m. Get put back in hated car seat. Go to meet dad; smile and coo. Get removed from car seat. Look around while they eat dinner at restaurant. Smile and coo occasionally. Rake in compliments from strangers.
8:00 p.m. Get put back in carseat. After 10 minutes, commence crying. Dad will shake car seat. Stop crying.
9:00 p.m. Eat.

Melina's Hike to Ramona Falls

This Sunday Melina, Jeff and I hiked to Ramona Falls on Mt. Hood, about 7 miles round trip. It was Melina's longest hike yet. She weathered it well, tucked away in her Ergo baby carrier. Part of the time she looked around at the trees going by, and the rest of the time she slept. When we got to the falls, she had a little snack, practiced standing and walking on dad's lap, and ignored a nearby chipmunk. This was her second hike in a week - the first one was a trip up the Horsetail Falls trail in the Gorge with mom.

Stats

Melina is nine weeks and one day old today. Today she weighed 12 pounds 1 oz. with her clothes on.

She is just starting to outgrow some of her 0-3 month clothes.

The Face that Launched 1000 Ships

Melina continues to be a delightful little baby. She is smiling and laughing more often, and she has just discovered that she can suck on her hands for entertainment. The more babies I meet, the more I'm convinced that she's hyper-cute. (Is that a terrible thing to say?) I mean, of course, all babies are cutest to their mothers, but I think we have a special one here.

She's been napping on her belly lately. It's so cute the way her little butt sticks up in the air.

She's also cute when she's swaddled up. She looks like a little inchworm, with her little round head sticking out. Then she sticks her legs up in the air and looks like an inchworm searching for a blade of grass to land on.

I have been very happy being a SAHM (that's Momese for "stay at home mom") lately. Of course, the beautiful weather helps. Today I was weeding under the old pear tree, with Melina in her Moses basket wrapped in gauze to keep away the bugs, drinking lemonade, and I reflected back on my office job and realized... working in the garden on a beautiful sunny day is infinitely better than working behind a desk on a beautiful sunny day, no matter what stage of your career you're in. At least for me.

Today I went to my first mom's group "meeting." It's a long story how I met these women, but there are three of them and they seem very cool. They all have babies under a year old. It was great to talk and compare notes. On Tuesday I'm going to a different mom's group meeting. I'm also involved in one online mom's group based in Portland (haven't met any in person yet) and two online groups based in cyberspace. Suddenly I'm surrounded my moms.

Melina is making some funny sounds these days. I think she's experimenting. She's come up with some really alarming cries that make it sound like she's being attacked by wasps (heaven forbid). They are very effective.

A Few Reflections at Eight Weeks

Almost eight weeks have already passed since Melina entered the world! It's hard to believe. I've been meaning to write here, but, well, I'm taking care of a newborn. So here are some stream-of-consciousness reflections...

She's already grown so much. It's hard to recognize the little doll that she was just after birth (photo below). She's already developing so much, though she still has a lot of the same "mannerisms" that she had when she was first born, like the startle reflex, where she throws her hands and feet out when she's surprised. She also does this adorable snarfling at the breast when she's hungry. She's not doing it quite as much as she did when she was a newborn, though. She looks very serious and moves her mouth back and forth frantically, trying to latch on. As she grows, she gets better at latching on and looks a little less frantic, which is kind of sad.

She's a pretty easy baby. In general, I'd say she's a pretty easy baby, though she definitely has her moments of crying and screaming like a banshee, mostly in the car. But she goes to sleep very easily at night, and is usually pretty easy to calm.

Her crying breaks my heart. When she does cry - especially in the car when I can't go to her immediately - it just rips at my heart. She has actual tears running down her face and looks like I've just destroyed any trust that she may have had in me. It's terrible, horrible, awful.

More soon.

Life with a newborn

Here we are on day 11 of having a newborn baby. Melina is a very sweet and easy baby, in general... thank God. In general, she eats every 3 hours and then sleeps the rest of the time, except for a few hours here and there when she's alert and looking about. She cries when she's hungry (if I don't anticipate her hunger first) and when she has a horribly messy diaper, and she absolutely hates getting bathed or being naked, but other than that she doesn't cry much. Knock on wood.

Breastfeeding has been interesting. It's not as easy as you would think. Luckily in the hospital I had a bunch of lactation consultants at my disposal who showed me how to get her to latch on correctly, and I bought a "My Brest Friend" pillow that makes latching on very easy. My breasts were hugely engorged for about 3 days - like hard, painful basketballs attached to my chest - but that seems to be going down now. Now I just get engorged on whichever side she's due to feed on next. I like being her sole source of sustanance right now - it makes it easy to travel with her, not that we've done much "traveling" yet.

Melina's first outing was around the block, just about 4 days after she was born. I walked veeerrrryy slowly with mom and said hello to all the neighbors. Her second outing was to the doctor, at 7 days old, and at 8 days old Jeff took her to a teahouse (he's already indoctrinating her) where he sat and watched soccer and she slept in her car seat the entire time. Later that day we all went out for pizza at a local pizzeria. She cried a little there (and I turned beet red) but I think it was because there was hot air blowing on her from the soda machine. Jeff picked her up and ate his meal one-handed, bouncing her on his knee the entire time.

The night before last was pretty rough. I didn't get much sleep before 4:30 a.m. But last night she ate at 10:00 p.m., 2:30 a.m., and about 6:00 a.m., which is GOOD, though you might not think it. I actually got a fair amount of sleep (I stayed in bed until almost 11:00). I can't imagine trying to go back to work at this point - it would be insane...luckily I have the option of not working right now.

I am still convinced that she's the cutest baby in the world. OK, ONE of the cutest. The Gerber baby is pretty cute too. Probably every mom feels that way, but honestly, she is CUTE. I love how she has slightly darker skin than I do, and dark slate-blue eyes. I think it's Jeff's Mediterranean blood coming out. Melina means "honey girl" in Greek, and that's just what she looks like. It also means "little apple" in Italian, which she sort of resembles too... and "yellow songbird" in Latin.

My parents have been here for a few weeks now, and their help has been invaluable. I don't know how I'm going to adjust once they leave and Jeff goes back to work full time. Hopefully by then she will be in a little bit more of a schedule, and I will feel well enough to move around freely. Recovering from a C-section is not the best way to start life with a newborn, but I am feeling better every day.

At last, Melina!

Our beautiful new baby Melina (her middle name is my maiden name) was born on April 26 after a long and complicated labor and delivery.

On April 25 Melina was nine days late, so I had an acupuncture treatment to induce labor. I was kind of skeptical about it working, especially since the acupuncturist put only four tiny needles into my lower back. That was at 1:30 p.m. At 4:30 I started getting contractions, and at 8:45 p.m. my water broke while I was rolling around on an exercise ball trying to get the baby to go lower. At that point, the contractions were coming every minute and a half. My midwife and her student midwife showed up right away to assess the situation, and at 10:40 p.m. we drove to the birthing center – me in a great deal of pain, with Jeff rubbing my back in the back seat.

The first 6-8 centimeters of dilation went really fast, and were just what I was hoping for in terms of a natural birth. I labored in a hot tub with candles lit and music playing, with Jeff rubbing my back and helping me through the contractions. They were very painful, but I could keep on top of them with visualizations and chanting. I actually found that moaning at the same tone as the hot tub’s jet motor really helped. My parents were there in the background, along with the midwife and two student midwives. Things were progressing so quickly that at one point I thought the baby might be born by three in the morning.

By 5 a.m., contractions still two minutes apart and everyone was waiting for baby's head to drop. The baby was at –2 station – not nearly low enough.

The next 11 hours were spent in increasing pain and frustration as I kept laboring without any progress. A small bag of water had escaped in front of the baby’s head, and when the midwife broke it, my dilation went down from 8 to 6. I tried everything to get the baby to drop – squats, walking, laboring in a rocking chair, on a birthing ball, in the tub, on the bed, trying homeopathic remedies and herbs to focus the contractions… nothing worked. Jeff and dad were getting upset watching me in so much pain, and I was getting more and more exhausted, hopeless and frustrated. Throughout the whole ordeal, the baby’s heart tones were very strong and she seemed to be tolerating labor well, but we decided that if I hadn’t progressed any more by the next check, I was going to go to the hospital. At 3:30 p.m. I hadn’t progressed. The midwife made the arrangements on the phone and we drove to the hospital, with me having terrible contractions in the front seat of the car.

By this time, I was more than ready for an epidural, and my midwife agreed that it might help me relax enough to allow the baby to drop. They gave me the epidural right away – sweet relief! – and started pitocin to see if stronger contractions would help. I sat there talking and laughing while my body continued to labor away without any pain at all…

After a few hours of laboring with very strong contractions, my cervix still hadn’t dilated and the baby was still at -2. The doctor recommended a c-section, and I couldn’t see any reason to continue laboring, since I had been stuck at 6 cm for almost 15 hours. Jeff and my parents had taken off to get a bite to eat, so I had to call them and tell them to come back ASAP for the emergency c-section. At 8:30 Jeff and I went in for the section, which was completely painless. I was so happy to finally get to see the baby, that any reservations I had about c-sections evaporated. Jeff and I kept up a conversation while they opened me up, and at 8:58 p.m. he excitedly announced that it was a GIRL! Baby Melina had arrived in the world!

So right now I am in the hospital recovering from the section, which really is major surgery. It turns out that Melina was probably at an odd angle and was unable to move through the birth canal. She has a bit of jaundice, so she is in the nursery today getting phototherapy. A good friend of mine works in the nursery, which is fantastic because she has been able to teach me a lot. I am very sore, with so much trapped gas in me that I still look nine months pregnant, but every day is getting better. Melina is beautiful and Jeff is quickly becoming a champ at calming her and changing diapers!

Although the whole experience was terribly grueling, I was glad to get the chance to go through both a med-free and a medicated birthing experience. My experience at the birthing center was as beautiful and spiritual as I wanted it to be, until my labor stalled; and when I needed it, medical technology was there to support me and possibly to save both my life and Melina’s.

The cutest baby in the world. This photo was taken about half an hour after she was born.

Past Due

It's April 18 and I'm officially two days past due. It's a very strange feeling to be waiting around with very little to do. I'm trying to keep myself from falling into the grumpiness and weepiness that seems to afflict many pregnant women at this point. I've been reading Anna Karenina, sitting in coffee houses with Jeff, swimming occasionally, catching up on Sex & the City, trying to make myself feel pretty, seeing friends, and doing prenatal yoga when I feel up to it. It's very uncomfortable to walk. We've been getting 3-4 calls a day from people wondering what's up. I was born two weeks late, so I hope that I'm not in for that long of a wait myself... At this point I think I'm more excited about not being pregnant than about actually having the baby, which makes me feel guilty and makes me wonder if the baby is staying inside on purpose!

The Waiting Game

Last Thursday (April 7) was my last day at work, and I've now entered a strange twilight waiting period where I can't plan to do anything (at least not without saying "if I don't pop first.") I can't do anything very active, but I know the world is about to change dramatically and get very loud, demanding and entertaining. It's very strange. I'm kind of bored, but I feel like I should be appreciating these last quiet moments before the baby comes. It would be a good time to go on some sort of spiritual retreat, or start writing the Great American Novel. Instead, I've been cleaning - I've tackled the laundry room (made hardly a dent), the freezer, my closet, etc. etc.

I'm feeling pretty good, although my stomach really feels like it's about to burst into a fireworks show of strech marks because there's just no room left. I had a very painful displaced rib, or something like that, last week that made it hard to breathe in all the way. Luckily, that's gone. I've been sleeping OK, taking lots of naps, and absorbing novel after novel (including Anna Karenina, a murder mystery set in Rome, and Operating Instructions by Annie Lamott. The baby seems to be dropping gradually - I'm still feeling lots of kicks, though not as strong as they used to be, because there isn't much room in there anymore. I'm definitely ready to have my body back so I can get some exercise and start moving again. On the other hand I have a hard time believing I could go into labor at any time. I'm trying not to think about the pain that I will probably have to endure!

The house is about as ready as it's gonna get. We don't have a separate room for the baby at this point, so nothing to paint. (Eventually the kid will move downstairs to the current guest room). At the top of our stairs there's a large landing that has become the baby's space. We have a bureau filled with tiny clothes and a desk that I've converted to a changing area, which a huge supply of cloth diapers (one weeks' worth, which is SEVENTY diapers) all stacked in a neat wicker basket. We also have a bassinet that will attach to the bed for co-sleeping. It all seems so surreal right now, though!

So, that's the scoop here. Just waiting in a kind of surreal, bored, low-energy state for the Great Excitement to come. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if this baby is two weeks late. I may drive myself to the hospital and demand a C-section! I think the waiting would really begin to drive me crazy. And I'm not sure how much more my stomach can stretch out.

Bottomless pit

I am a bottomless pit of hunger today, which is odd because I haven't been very hungry lately. So far I've had (1:00 pm):

A blueberry oatbran muffin
Grapefruit juice
1/2 cup of cottage cheese
1/2 a grapefruit
A couple of handfuls of pistachios
One Trader Joe's green chicken curry lunch
Three small potato pancakes, w/more cottage cheese
3/4 cup of coffee
The other half of a grapefruit...

and I'm still starving. I'm also craving grapefruit. Can you tell?

Jennifer

Appointment Update

I had my 36w5d appointment last night... it was the shortest appointment yet. My Group B Strep test was negative, the protein that I had in my urine last time has disappeared (protein can be a sign of preeclampsia), the swelling in my ankles has gone down a bit, and my weight has even gone down 2 pounds (probably because I was retaining water at my last appointment). She said that everything is completely normal and on schedule and healthy. Baby is measuring average, carrying low (and getting into place for birth). She said I could probably handle an 8lb 5oz baby (which is what I was) without too much problem. I had some cramping yesterday which she said is completely normal at this point. So, all is well - to the point of being boring. I hope it continues this way!!

On Saturday I'll be "term," which means that the baby is basically done baking and can come out at any time!

Only three and a half more weeks!

Only 3.5 weeks until my due date (April 16). I can tell it's starting to get a little crowded in the ol' womb, because baby hasn't been able to kick as much, but is mainly squirming around. Baby's still head down, and so far everything is right on schedule and doing just fine.

I had two baby showers last week - one at work and one at a friend's. My coworkers banded together to give us eight weeks of diaper service. Now I just need to buy some cute cloth diaper covers - we only have one that's infant sized. We're pretty much all set on clothes for the 3-6 month stage, but still need to buy some onesies and things for the newborn. For furniture, we now have a bassinet (an Arm's Reach co-sleeper), a dresser (already full of tiny clothes), and a bouncy seat (that attaches to a door jamb and hangs from a spring). We also have a car seat and a light stroller. Our next big purchases will be a jogging stroller (perhaps the Chariot Cougar One, which converts from a jogging stroller to a bike trailer to a cross-country ski sled), and a backpack for taking long hikes with the baby.

It's amazing how much stuff you "need" (or think you need) for such a tiny, helpless little pink thing.

A few things you're supposed to do when pregnant

Here are few things I've been told to do:

• Drink 80 ounces of water a day
  
• Eat 80 grams of protein a day (a hamburger has about 30 grams)
  
• Increase calcium consumption by huge amounts
  
• Eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day
  
• Exercise for at least half an hour every day
  
• Sleep 12 hours a day (um, does that mean I have to go to bed at 7:00 p.m.?)
  
• Do perineal massage for five minutes every day (I can't even REACH down there)
  
• Lay on an incline with feet above head for 20 minutes three times a day (when I was trying to turn the baby)
  
• Get on hands and knees with belly hanging down for a good amount of time each day (to encourage baby to get in correct birthing position)
  
• Eat extra fish (but only the right kinds of fish) or take supplements to increase baby's brain power
  
• Spend 1 hour each day with headphones attached to stomach so baby can listen to Mozart
  
• Drink 5-6 cups of pregnancy tea (red raspberry leaf) every day to tone uterus
  
• Do 200 kegels a day
  

And I'm sure there's something I'm forgetting. Does anyone want to subsidize me so I can quit my job to attend to these duties?