Mina do it

Melina is getting more and more independent and willful. We're definitely well into the Twos. Lately she has begun openly defying me on such issues as "can I walk on the neighbor's front porch," (not when the neighbor is home), "can I run over the kitty with my shopping cart," and "can I cross the street without holding your hand." When we get to this stage I usually get down on her level and speak to her firmly, and when she repeats the behavior I either take her home or take away the shopping cart (or put the cat out). I wonder if I should be using timeouts or some other disciplinary tool. I don't really believe in "punishment" because I think it ends up backfiring later, but on the other hand I can't let her get away with murder, either. I feel like I need to learn more about this.

There's also the question of what to do when she won't share, or when she gets in a tussle with one of her small friends. Apparently in Japan they have the philosophy that the parent never intervenes in these little dramas unless there's a question of safety. I kind of like that - let the kids work out their own problems - but if other parents don't share that philosophy then you can get into trouble. I know that two-year-olds just aren't into sharing, and that's that. I'll be glad when we're out of this stage. (Not that Melina NEVER shares; sometimes she willingly hands over crackers or toys - but she definitely has a strong sense of property rights!).