Swimming lessons

Melina began swimming lessons last week at the Salvation Army pool. The first class was a bit harrowing; apparently at age (almost) 1.5, Melina is already behind the curve when it comes to swimming underwater. There were only a few other babies in the class, but they were already zooming around under the surface like pudgy little penguins. The class involved several dunkings, which did not amuse Miss M. She didn't cry, but sort of stared at me with an outraged "you must be joking!" expression. Then the instructor tucked her under one arm and dove under water for a good three or four seconds, which seems interminable when your BABY is under WATER. Jeff was standing on the sidelines watching (Melina kept trying to crawl out of the pool to go to him) and he said I looked really stressed out.

The second class was a little more enjoyable. Melina seemed to mind the dunking less (though I did get the "you must be joking" look - a faint smile, combined with a shrinking away from mommy). We successfully performed the underwater hokey pokey (push your baby down to the floor of the pool, turn her around, and pull her back up). I think I cheated. Melina was still the only one who had not taken the earlier aqua babies class, but she seems to be catching on. Now I just have to memorize the words to the Wheels on the Bus...

Various musings

I realize I haven't been writing much here lately. Since we haven't had any vacations or other outstanding moments, there have been no obvious reasons to write. But meanwhile Melina continues to grow, and develop a personality, and learn words, and form preferences, and assert her will.

"No" is now one of her favorite words. I really do try not to say "no" too often, but it's hard. Melina says "no" now whenever something isn't going her way. She also says "uh-uh" and shakes her head. This is handy when I'm trying to feed her and she doesn't want something, or when I'm reading her books before naps. She seems to be tired of all her books (as am I). Time to go to the bookstore.

I am still experimenting with ways to get her to nap. (Jeff puts her to bed at night, and his system seems to work pretty well). For naps, it's a little harder. Usually I read to her, rock her until she seems sleepy, then put her down in the crib awake and go lie on the bed. She used to cry for a few minutes and then go lay down, but now she stays up and plays (and even laughs). She kicks the side of the crib, drops her binky, jumps on the mattress, stands on her head (sort of) and does all kinds of other distracting things to keep herself awake. Meanwhile I'm nodding off on the bed reading Lord of the Rings while my stomach growls. Usually I get fed up and either pick her up and rock her some more (she often falls asleep after that) or go downstairs for a few minutes, at which point she screams bloody murder and tires herself out. Then I go back up, lay her down, and she often falls asleep.

Her hair is getting longer, and I've managed to put it in little pigtails a few times. I'm not really sure what else to do with it. If I let it grow without cutting it, I'm afraid it will turn into a mullet. If I cut the back, I won't be able to put it in pigtails. I could let the bangs grow out a little more, or not. It's a dilemma.

Olallie is proving himself to be one of the most patient cats in the world. Melina loves to lie on him, and Norah pulls his tail and covers him up with our sheepskin rug. Still, he hangs around - I think he likes the attention. I've never seen him do more than complain a little and walk away.

My stomach is growling again and I don't know how long it will be before Miss M wakes up, so I better go take care of it.

Sleep update

Melina's sleeping habits have gotten much, much better since we implemented our version of the Sleep Lady Shuffle. Now Jeff puts her to bed every night (which I like!). He reads to her and gets her calmed down, then puts her in the crib awake. He lays on the bed so she knows he's there, and usually she goes off to sleep without a cry. Lately, she has been sleeping from around 8:30 (or whenever Jeff gets her to sleep) to 6:45 or 7:00 a.m., when she wakes up for a snack and then (sometimes) goes back to sleep. She rarely wakes up at night now, though last night was an exception - she woke up several times, I think because she didn't get her regular naps in yesterday.

Last night I tried doing the Jeff routine for the first time by myself, since Jeff went out to dinner with a friend. I tried putting M. down the way I usually do (by rocking her and getting her to go to sleep on my lap) but it was taking forever and she was playing games with me, pinching me and pulling my hair and asking for the bottle and tossing down her binkie. Finally I got fed up and put her in the crib and lay down on the bed. She cried for a while (maybe three minutes), so I started singing a lullaby. She stopped abruptly and flopped down in the crib, stuck a binkie in her mouth, and lay there silently. After about 10 minutes she got up and cried again, but only for another two minutes or so. This pattern repeated several times (she was fine as long as I kept singing) and I was up there for quite a while, reading a book about a bunch of hostages, including an opera singer, being detained in a south American country. I was feeling a little like a hostage, constantly being forced to sing, but finally she fell asleep and I crept out.

Today for her second nap I tried putting her down as usual. (She usually goes down easily for her first nap). After a while I got fed up with her games and plopped her down in the crib. This time she cried for less than a minute, lay down, stared at me through the bars for a good 15 minutes (kind of unsettling) and went to sleep. I'm amazed that this worked for a nap - I never thought it would. I'll try again tomorrow.

Melina's Vocabulary

Here are Melina's current words (though I'm sure I'm forgetting some. She seems to pick up new words every day!)

Mama
Dadda
Doggy
Kitty
Hi
Bye
Shoe
Ice
Baby
No!
Birdy ("beebee" plus sign for bird)
Key
Gaga (this is a Korean baby word that means "snack," picked up from her sitter)
Berry (buoy)
Banana (naynay)
Book (boop)
Peek-a-boo (bee-boo)
Airplane ("aaaiii" plus pointing up in the air)
E I E I O (from "Old MacDonald") - sometimes just E I O
How I won... (from "Twinkle twinkle little star")
Uh-oh
Cool
Hot (ha)
Cracker (kacka)
Mine (apparently she said this to Youngsoon yesterday, but I haven't heard her)
Car (ka)
Water (Awa - sounds strangely like "agua" - maybe she was Spanish in a past life)
Bottle (bobble)

That's all I can remember at the moment, though I'm sure there are others. I like how her vocabulary reflects what's important to her in life. Notice the lack of words for "Iraq," "work," and "responsiblity."

Jennifer's projects

Melina is having her now-usual two-hour morning nap and I have had a huge cup of coffee (after spilling coffee and grounds all over the kitchen counter) and am buzzing with caffeine. Caffeine usually gives me a creative boost, and since Science Friday is on the radio talking about grafting fruit trees, I'm thinking it's time to graft some apples onto the pear tree out back. This pear tree is in the prime of life and produces copious fruit most years - the only problem is that I don't really like pears, though Melina does. (She has started picking pears off up the ground and biting into them, with varying results. The other day I found a big worm crawling across her hand that I think had been living inside the pear she was eating).

I've looked up grafting on the web (here's a nice blog entry about grafting) and it appears that I will need to start this project in November or December, when I will have to order "scions" (cuttings) from a reputable scion dealer. Looks like I should start with quite a few because it's not guaranteed that they'll all succeed. Then I have to figure out how to actually graft the cuttings onto the tree - fortunately there's plenty of advice out there on the web. Eventually I should end up with a tree that bears both fruit and apples - maybe several kinds! Sounds like a good early spring project.

Other projects I'm contemplating: printing onesies and small children's teeshirts with various designs. I've been meaning to do this for a long time, but have been discouraged by the flood of printed onesies I've seen since I got the idea. Does the world really need more onesies printed with cute sayings? I need a more original idea. I'm working on it. It would be fun to develop something to sell at Last Thursday, the local monthly art festival.

Another project: Landscaping the planting strip (also known as the hell strip) between the sidewalk and the street. I've found some good landscaping ideas and Jeff is behind the idea, but I need to find out what plants would survive our hot summers and rainy winters. Next step: trip to the nursery.

Another project: Holding a Northwest Earth Institute course at my house this fall. They have courses on raising environmentally aware children and on bioregionalism. Several of my friends are interested. Next step: Call them and find out if I can hold the classes less than once a week (the schedule they recommend).

Another project: Sign Melina up for swimming classes. They start September 5, but are held on Saturday mornings at 10:00, and I'm not a morning person. Still, the baby needs to learn to swim.

See what caffeine does to me?

Current obsessions

Melina has several new obsessions that keep her occupied for most of the day. First, she likes to move things from one place to another. I think this is pretty normal behavior for a one-year-old. She will open the buffet cupboard in the dining room, take out one of the green 1970s dessert glasses that lives there, and march it into the kitchen, where she sets it down carefully in the middle of the floor. Then she goes back, finds another one, returns to the kitchen, and sets the second one down. I've seen her do this with up to six glasses. Sometimes if I'm lucky I can get her to put them back, but that doesn't always work.

She also loves shoes. She can say the word "shoe" now ("tchoo") and eagerly sticks out her foot when a sandal comes near. I took her into a baby shoe store and she was overjoyed by the selection. She also loves playing with my debit card. I see a scary convergence of these two interests in the distant future.

Another thing Melina loves is climbing. She had been an enthusiastic stair climber since she was about 9 months old, but now she will also trot up hills, even steep ones, and climb onto chairs and tables. She has fallen a few times, but often she doesn't cry when I think for sure she will. She seems to be a pretty tough cookie.

And then there's the obsession with berries, which I wrote about below. Melina seems to have an innate ability to identify huckleberry habitat, at which point she pipes up with "buoy? buoy? buoy?" When we're at home I've given her enough blueberries to turn her into Violet Beauregard. Lately she's been throwing the blueberries on the floor, though, which means that this obsession is on its way out.

Our Olympics Vacation

Last week we took a little trip up to Olympic National Park in Washington. Here’s the trip log.

Day 1: Portland to Pacific Beach

On this sunny Sunday, all bright-eyed and fresh, we packed up the car and headed up I-5 toward the Olympic Peninsula. Melina was tucked away in her now forward-facing car seat and spent most of the drive making little noises to herself and playing with blocks. I had made reservations at the Pacific Beach state park, which we reached around 5:30. Signs along the road continually warned us that we were in a tsunami danger zone and pointed out escape routes. For some reason I was feeling particularly paranoid about tsunamis, so I was comforted to see that our campground was directly at the end of an escape route. Also, we were the only car in the campground that did not have a big motor home attached to it, so I figured we could make a quick exit if we needed to.


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We were completely surrounded by RVs. Since the campground had electricity, there was no generator noise and it was actually very quiet apart from the sound of the distant waves. We had an ocean view, and during the hour and a half that it took Jeff to get Melina to go to sleep that night, I sat out in one of our dilapidated camp chairs, sipping rosé wine and watching the campfires on the beach and the stars above.

Melina enjoyed the beach, although she refused to walk on the soft sand and asked to be carried. She used a crab shell as a little shovel and ran the sand through her hands, occasionally stuffing it into her mouth. Although she seemed afraid of the soft sand, she showed no hesitation at walking directly into the pounding surf.

Day 2: Pacific Beach to Lake Quinault Lodge

In the morning, we packed up our things, vainly attempted to get Melina to take a morning nap, and finally headed out. We stopped at a gas station with an attached Korean deli, where I ordered fried rice while a restaurant safety inspector stood talking to the Korean owner and pointing out one minor health violation after another. Since my fried rice was cooked directly under his nose, I figured I was OK.

We drove about 30 miles to the Lake Quinault resort area, then continued on the Quinault River road in another vain attempt to get Melina to nap. We drove down to the end, into the national park, with its huge moss-draped trees and wide, braided Quinault River. Finally we turned around and checked into the Lake Quinault Lodge.

I was a little disappointed by our room at first. The carpet was stained and wrinkled, the ceiling was low, bushes obscured our view of the lake, and the fireplace was fake – not even gas, but one of those cheesy lighted things that vaguely resembles a fire if you look at it out of the corner of your eye. Then my good hotel karma kicked in and, before we were finished unpacking, the toilet in the room upstairs overflowed into our bathroom. This meant that we were moved into an upstairs room with higher ceilings, a new carpet, and a nice view of the lake. Hooray for overflowing toilets!

The restaurant at the hotel was quite expensive (entrees started at around $20), so we ate across the street at the Quinault Merc, a classic general store that happens to be for sale (for $375,000). I fantasized about buying it and upgrading it a bit to take advantage of the yuppie trade, like the Mazama Store in the Methow Valley. With some soymilk, a good logo, and high-quality outdoor and fishing gear, you could really turn the store around. As it was, the store was solidly traditional, with a menu limited to fried foods (although they did have gardenburgers), ice cream, and espresso drinks (which seem to be mandatory anywhere near Seattle). For four days we pretty much lived on BLTs, gardenburgers, French fries, grilled cheese sandwiches, and tater tots. I don’t think Melina minded much, but I was definitely craving some greens by Friday.

Day 3: North Fork Quinault River

On Tuesday we did a five-mile roundtrip hike to Wolf Bar on the north fork Quinault River. The trail was easy and almost flat, leading under huge old-growth cedar, spruce, and alder trees, and lined on both sides with huckleberry bushes. When we got to Wolf Bar (a long rocky sandbar along the river with a beautiful swimming hole at one end) we ate lunch, skipped rocks, and tried to prevent Melina from eating pebbles. At one point she found herself a stick and, like a monkey eating ants in Africa, dipped it in the sand, licked off the sand, and dipped the stick back in the sand to gather more. The problem was that if you took the stick away from her, she would just find another stick and start the process over again. The only solution was to pick her up and keep her away from the ground. Jeff found a way to skip stones while holding Melina. He also took his obligatory dip into the freezing glacial melt, and we explored the sandbar downriver. I found what I think may have been a cougar track (too large and round to be a dog; to small and round to be a bear). On the way back, Melina started complaining about being in the backpack, so we devised a system of feeding her huckleberries every minute or so to keep her occupied. Luckily, there were enough huckleberries around to hold out until we got to the car; but Melina got greedy, learned how to say berry (something like “buoy”) and demanded berries regularly for the rest of the trip.

As we drove home, a bobcat or a lynx ran across the road in front of us.


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Day 4: Beach 4

On Wednesday we went to the imaginatively named Beach 4 in Olympic National Park. It was a very nice beach with tidepools and rocks, and Melina found lots of new things to put in her mouth. Almost immediately, she managed to consume a tiny snail she picked off a rock (I later identified it as a black turban snail). Apparently these were a staple food source for coastal tribes, but I didn’t know that at the time, and I spent most of the day imagining a life-flight helicopter landing on the lawn at the Quinault Lake Lodge at 3:00 a.m. to ferry Melina, green and paralyzed, to a Seattle emergency ward. This momentarily overtook my fear of tsunamis.

Day 5: Quinault Lake Lodge

On Thursday we ate breakfast in the lodge, taking turns walking Melina outside on the expansive lawn. After this we briefly considered and rejected the idea of renting a canoe (Melina hates wearing a life jacket) so instead we sat on the rocky beach, vainly trying to prevent M. from consuming handfuls of sand. Jeff went for a swim in the lake. Afterward, we took another five-mile hike on the network of trails south of the lodge to see the “Big Spruce Tree.” The trails were very well maintained and signed, and there was lots of impressive old growth to see. The spruce tree was indeed very big, and Melina looked like a doll sitting at its base.

On the way back, Jeff realized that the deli at the Quinault Merc was about to close, so he ran back the mile and a half to order us a pizza so we wouldn’t have to pay for an $80+ meal at the hotel. This left Melina and I alone in the forest, where my suddenly overactive imagination had me battling sasquatches and wildcats, arriving bloody and mangled at the country store just as the pizza was being taken out of the oven. Of course, this didn’t happen, although we did see a bunny on the trail.

Jeff did arrive just in time to order us a pizza, which we at on the lawn at the lodge, washed down with a nice Coors Light.


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Day 6: Quinault Lake Lodge to Graves Creek Campground

Friday started out poorly, with me in a bad mood due to the impending end of our vacation. After several stops and another BLT at the Merc, we drove down to Graves Creek campground. There, we were assaulted with mosquitoes, and had to settle for a second-rate campsite far away from the river. We rallied, though, and went for a short hike to Irely Lake. Melina demanded buoys along the way, and showed mild interest in the tiny frogs hopping across the trail. After a fairly easy one-mile hike we arrived at the ancient-looking lake, where a large green dinosaur would have fit right in with the spindly dead trees rising from the water.

After our return to camp we fed Melina dinner while trying unsuccessfully to shoo away the mosquitoes. Jeff made a fire, I made dinner (Indian food from cans), Jeff put Melina to bed, and I did dishes illegally in the bathroom sink by the light of a flashlight.

Day 7: Home again

On Saturday we decided we had had enough camping among the mosquitoes, and headed home after another dip in Quinault Lake and one last deep-fried meal at the Merc. There’s not much to report about this day, other than Melina’s shocking collection of mosquito bite welts, and the relief of taking a shower and finding that our house hadn’t burned down while we were gone. We managed to extend the vacation a bit on Sunday by meeting up with some friends at a local pool and then having a picnic in the park.

All in all, it was a nice vacation.

Baby's first haircut

We finally got around to getting Melina's hair cut yesterday. Jeff needed a haircut too, so we took Melina to Supercuts and she sat on his lap while the haircutter did the deed. I was a little concerned when he just twisted her bangs up into a little rope and whacked them off. He also trimmed the back, which luckily still retains some of its curliness. But then he told Jeff that some kid had needed seven stitches after he squirmed too much during a haircut. Not what you want to hear! Anyway, Melina's bangs are now super short and blunt. I'm thinking of taking her somewhere else where she can get some more styling done, but she doesn't have much to work with. Luckily her hair grows pretty fast at this point so she should look somewhat normal soon.

Little Random Vector

We've taken to calling Melina "Random Vector" because now that she can walk you never know what direction she's going to go in, though she still tends to gravitate toward stairs. We took her to daVinci Days in Corvallis and spent most of the time following her around as she randomly weaved from here to there. She's getting faster every day, though I wouldn't say she's running yet. One of her favorite things is to carry around crayons in her sweaty little fists. She carries them from one room to the other, occasionally writing on the walls in transit. Luckily, they're washable. She also likes to move things from one place to another, occasionally handing them to you and then taking them back again. This is a pretty fun age and we're enjoying all her energy!

Melina has a little meltdown, and recovers

Video Hosting - Upload Video - Video SharingHere's Miss M at the Country Fair having a little meltdown when I take a sharp stick away from her.

Melina's Country Fair, Part I

Well, we got back from the Oregon County Fair on Sunday, all hot, sticky, dusty, mosquito-bitten and exhausted. Needless to say, we DID have fun, although it was a little more demanding than last year. For one thing, it was hotter and more crowded than last year (it rained then), and Melina weighs about 12 pounds more than she did back then. When you're carrying someone around on your back most of the day, 12 additional pounds makes a difference. She really got into walking while we were there, though. Instead of giving up and crawling when she fell down, she started standing up and walking and seemed determined not to crawl. She also enjoyed picking up sharp sticks off the ground and walking (or running) around with them in her hand.

We camped at Zumwalt as we usually do. Like last year, we arrived with 15 minutes to spare before they closed the gate for the night. Luckily Erica and Brianna had saved us a good spot in the quite section of the campground. Last year we had my parents' VW bus, but this year we had their large LL Bean tent (which was a bit of a challenge to put up for the first time in the dark). It was big enough to accommodate a double air mattress and Melina's crib mattress side by side. This made sleeping much easier, since Melina does 360-degree rotations all night long. There was much time spent in the tent reading I am a Bunny, chasing mosquitos and spiders and yellowjackets out of the tent, and wishing the neighbors' drum circle wasn't QUITE so loud. Luckily Melina sleeps pretty soundly once she actually falls asleep, and she was able to sleep through some surprisingly loud goings-on, like the little two-stroke utility truck driving by several times a night, and a seaplane that kept landing and taking off nearby in Fern Ridge Reservoir.

Melina's Country Fair, Part II

The fair hadn't changed a bit (does it ever change?) There were the usual packs of performers on stilts, outrageous getups, drummers, little girls with fairy wings (we got some for Melina), painted breasts, quirky performances, and beautifully detailed costumes. We spent most of our time near Chelamela Meadow, a big open space where people practice juggling and poi. I bought some new practice poi and was inspired to start working with fire again. Jeff got a 15-minute massage that was so intense that he actually fainted for a moment and woke up not knowing where he was. It passed quickly, but apparently he really needs to get some bodywork done. He got another massag the next day (he didn't faint) and decided to get regular massages in the future (he has a lot of problems with his upper back and shoulders). I got a short massage too, which was nice after carrying Melina around all day.

It was a challenge trying to feed Melina without a high chair or booster seat. I did carry a spoon and sippy cup around with us, and Melina got her share of rice, beans, smoked salmon, ice cream, and other treats. She kept up a steady refrain of "aiiiith? aiiiith?" (ice? ice?) and probably sucked down her own body weight in ice cubes.

We ran into quite a few people that we knew this time, including our friends Richard and Chris (who always go), two friends from IFCAE, Richard's son, my coworker Stuart, Becky's husband Dean and their daughter Lena, Becky's brother Mike and his fiancee, and probably others that I don't remember. Erica also ran into lots of people she knew from working at the Saturday Market.

As I said earlier, the fair was pretty crowded. There was a bigger crowd than usual on Friday, and we spent most of the day wandering around without ever settling on anything. On Saturday we waited until after Melina's second nap and headed over to the fair at 3:00. It was sold out (20,000 people!) but we had three-day passes so we got in. By that time, it was less crowded and more manageable. Sunday was pretty pleasant, too. I think the key to enjoying the fair is to pick an area (like Chelamela meadow) and stay there instead of wandering around all day.

By 5:00 Sunday we were ready to go home. We made the long walk through the dry grass back to the car (with a brief forays to retrieve a lost binkie and walk the baby around so she could burn off energy). We squeezed ourselves and all of our purchases, camping gear, and dust into the car, waved at the parking volunteers with their crazy hats and costumes, drove past the handpainted signs, and made our way out onto the road and back up I-5 for the slow transition back to everyday life.

Melina's blossoming vocabulary

Although she doesn't look like it in this photo, Melina is becoming quite the talker. At last count she has mastered 16 words, or semi-words. They are:

Owwwww? This means meow, and is usually followed by kitty.

Ooof! Ooof! This, of course, means dog. She hasn't quite mastered the word "doggy" yet, though she said something a lot like it today.

Mama and Dada (sometimes Daddy). "Mama" sometimes means what you think it should mean, and sometimes means "feed me." Lately she's also been saying Monnny, which might mean mama or might mean something else. We're not sure.

Iiiiii? This seems to mean ice, sometimes, but at other times it just means "gimme."

Nana. Banana.

Key. Key. Or maybe "kitty."

Hi and Bye.

Aiyyyy? (said pointing up in the air). This means a plane is going overhead.

Cookie. I think she actually learned this from Norah, the sitter's two-year-old daughter!

HowIwon.... This is the beginning of the second line of "Twinkle, twinkle, little star," and she repeats it over and over and over. And over. It means she wants you to sing the song.

Uh-oh. This means something has fallen on the floor, usually because she dropped it there on purpose.

Cool! This is the newest word. I guess I must say "cool" a lot, because now she's saying it. It's pretty funny to hear a 14-month-old saying things are "cool." Though I don't think she has the slightest idea what it means.

Ha! Ha! This means Hot! Hot! It's another thing I say a lot, but I'm not sure if she's really grasped the meaning yet.

Melina's big weekend

Melina had a big weekend. First off, she transitioned from walking while holding onto a supporting adult with both hands, to walking holding onto one hand. And then, suddenly, she let go of that hand and took three big steps before sitting down in the grass! For posterity, that happened in Eugene on Saturday, June 17. Next, she successfully left a message on Jeff's cell phone from my cell phone, without me even knowing she was doing it. And then she pushed through a new tooth (her upper left eye-tooth), clearly said "binkie" (only once!) and started learning the words to "Twinkle, twinkle, little star." (She repeats the "How I wonder" line over and over... as in "howIwunooooh, howIwonoooo..." This is when she's not repeating "Owwwww? Kitty. Owwwww? Kitty. Owwwww? Kitty.")

And that's not all. Last night she went to sleep after five minutes of half-hearted crying. She looked at Jeff sitting on the bed, figured it wasn't worth crying any more, rolled over and went to sleep. Yay! I think she's finally getting it.

Unfortunately she also had one misadventure, which was to fall over a support bar on her high chair and hit her head on the deck. After a few minutes of hysterical screaming, she was back to her normal self. I was a little worried about a concussion, but she seems completely fine. Phew!

By the way, this is a photo of her opening a birthday present. It's a few months old.

The new French tent

Here's a video of my mom putting up a new tent that she and Dad bought in France. They couldn't make it much easier...


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More progress!

Last night Melina went to sleep after 15 minutes of crying. She woke up later and went back to sleep without crying at all. Yay!

Unfortunately, she also has a bad diaper rash (due to her new habit of pooping at night), and is hoarse from all the crying. She missed me a lot when I went down to Foster City for work, so she's extra clingy as well. Poor little baby!

Progress!

We are actually making progress on the sleep front! Do I hear angels singing? For four nights Melina cried for about an hour and 45 minutes, then woke up an hour later to cry for another 30-60 minutes. It was very disheartening. Then, on Sunday, she cried for an hour the first time, then went back to sleep after about 10 minutes the second time. Then last night she cried for half an hour the first time, and 5 minutes the second time. I think she's finally getting it! I'm actually in Foster City, California, now for a meeting, so I've been missing all the action (which I do not regret). Maybe after tonight we'll be down to 15 minutes... or even less! We can hope!

Sleep Lady Shuffle

At 13 months, we have finally decided to do some disciplined sleep training, because Melina is not sleeping through the night, and, even worse, wakes up every 40 minutes between 8 and 11:00 p.m., and takes about 20 minutes to fall back asleep each time. Actually, her night wakings aren't that bad (I don't mind waking up at 5:00 to nurse her) but lately it takes so long to get her to fall asleep (and back asleep) that one of us is constantly with her in the evenings. She obviously does not know how to soothe herself or fall back asleep on her own, and it's driving us crazy.

I own 5 or 6 sleep books. Here's a summary of what they say, or at least how I interpret them:

Dr. Sears Baby Book. Co-sleep until the baby doesn't want to co-sleep anymore, or until it drives you crazy. "Cry it out" methods break the bond between parent and child and are unnecessarily harsh.

No Cry Sleep Solution. Agrees with Sears; offers different ways to get the baby to sleep without any tears. (We tried these, but either we weren't doing them right or they didn't work for Melina. They require a huge amount of discipline that we probably don't have.)

Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Guide to... something or other. It's a long title. Basically this one says it's OK to let the baby cry as long as you are right there suffering along side her. Gradually you move yourself away from the crib until you're out the door and the baby is sleeping through the night. You're supposed to apply the "sleep lady shuffle" (waiting with the baby) every time she wakes up during the night.

Sleeping Through The Night: This one says to let the baby cry it out by herself, with you checking on her occasionally, but you only need to do it the first time she goes down every night.

Ferber: can't remember the title of the book (I don't actually own this one), but it's the oldest of the "cry it out" manuals and has you go in to check on the baby at regular intervals while they cry, then space the intervals out longer and longer.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child: This one is has the strictest approach, called "extinction," which kind of gives me the chills. You put the baby in her room, close the door, and let her cry without checking on her until she falls asleep.

After reading all of these (or parts of them), we made up our own approach. For the last three nights we've been putting Melina down at 8:00 or so (her usual bedtime). We sing to her, rock her, etc., until she's almost out, then put her in the crib. Then we wait in the room about 5 feet from her. Jeff usually watches soccer with his headphones on and when I did it tonight I started out reading by her crib and then moved over to the bed to work on the computer. Actually she seemed to cry less when I was further away and when I didn't look at her. Anyway, for the first two nights I didn't think I could take crying, so I went out shopping and bought an extremely expensive bra at Nordstrom (what was I thinking??) and two installments of Lord of the Rings DVDs at Borders. (It's probably good that I was on duty tonight).

Anyway, we're doing this only until 11:00 p.m., instead of all night. It may take a little longer since we're not doing it every single time she wakes up, but since we are both working it saves us from becoming sleep-deprived zombies. I figure if we do it consistently every night, she WILL learn how to put herself to sleep, and that will carry through to the night wakings.

For the first two nights, she cried for an hour and 45 minutes each. Tonight, with me on duty, she cried for an hour and a half. Actually she didn't cry the entire time, but fussed a bit and sat quietly for a while too. Finally she just laid down and fell asleep. It's kind of disappointing that it didn't take 15 minutes tonight, or three minutes, as other people have experienced, but at least it took LESS time. So maybe we're getting somewhere. It's hard to be very hopeful when it still takes more than an hour to fall asleep.

The only thing that really helps me through this is that I know it will help her (and us) in the long run to know how to fall asleep, and during the day she has been the same happy, talkative, social little baby she always was. I haven't noticed any difference at all in clinginess or temperament, apart from being a little more tired.

I'll keep you posted about how it goes for the next couple of days.

New words

Melina is very clearly saying "kitty" these days, and today she pointed at a banana at the grocery store and said "nana." It's a veritable verbal explosion!

E-nagger: The Garage Project

In order to gently encourage Jeff to make progress on the building of our garage, I've decided to post some photos as the garage progresses. This way, he will be shamed into working on it if several months, say, pass without any change to the photos. (And he agreed to this!)

So here's a photo of Jeff cutting trenches in the driveway pad with a rented backhoe. Unfortunately I can't find the "before" picture I took, but this is fairly early in the process.

Here's the pile of dirt that's been sitting in our backyard for a month or so now. Note the weed growing out of the dirt.




And below is Jeff trying to figure out how to use a saw that he borrowed from a friend. He bought a 10'x10' canopy to protect him from the elements while he's out working. Yay, Jeff!

Tune in soon for more progress!

Melina's first plane trip

Just got back from a short vacation in Nevada, where we met up with Jeff's dad and stepmom. Despite several near disasters, we had a relaxing and fun time.

The first near-disaster came just as we were leaving to go to the airport, and I realized my car key had broken in half - there was just a short stub left on my keychain. Jeff found a replacement key in the basement and we managed to drive to the airport. However, once we got there we realized the replacement didn't open the trunk, where all our luggage was stowed. (It just occurred to me that the key must have broken off after we packed all our things in the trunk!). Jeff had disabled the automatic trunk latch, so I had visions of missing our flight while we waited around for a locksmith to arrive. Luckily we managed to get in through the passenger seats, and we made it comfortably to the gate.

At the gate, we were picked out for a special security check. This meant that they had to go through all our bags, which were full of baby food, diapers, toys, and all the myriad accoutrements of a traveling baby. It also meant they had to frisk Melina, our little terror suspect. She took it well, holding out her arms to the security lady to be picked up. Then she grabbed her badge on its elasticized cord and snapped it back in her face. Way to go, Melina.

On the plane, Melina entertained a family of women behind us and spent most of the time trying to crawl around in the aisles. She didn't seem to mind the takeoff and landing, although she studied the safety card extensively.

In Vegas, we got a free upgrade on our room at the Monte Carlo (probably because they knew Melina was a high-stakes gambler), so we enjoyed a very nice luxury suite. Melina napped, and Jeff went downstairs to find us food. He came back with salads from McDonalds, which he was destined to live off of for the next several days. I have to admit that their new salads are pretty good.

The next day (after Melina's naps) we found a Whole Foods market, where we stocked up on tofu, fruit, and quinoa cakes for our little organic baby, and then drove to Mesquite. Mesquite is one of those desert towns that really shouldn't be there. It's far too dry (though they have their own spring, which produces hard, unpleasant tasting water) and it's hot, hot, hot. Of course, golf courses and developments are springing up everywhere. We stayed at the Casablanca Resort, a big pink building with a casino, a buffet, cafe, fancy restaurant, spa, Starbucks, and a very nice pool with a waterfall, waterslide, and plenty of palm trees. For the next three days, we alternated between reading in the hotel room while Melina napped; sitting by the pool; swimming with the baby; drinking froufrou drinks; visiting Starbucks for iced coffee and green tea; and losing small amounts of money at the slot machines.

On our second day we drove up to a corner of Zion National Park and went for a hike. The trail was at 6,000 feet so it wasn't too hot. We tried out our new Kelty backpack, which worked very well. Melina (who has suddenly become very conscientious about greeting people) waved goodbye to every hiker we passed. (She hasn't quite gotten "hi" down yet). We hiked up to a cool grotto in the red rock cliffs, where the sound of dripping water and screaming ravens echoed through the canyons.

On Sunday, Mother's Day, I treated myself to the "Dead Sea experience" at the resort spa. First I was rubbed down with salt, then I was steamed for a while, then I was covered with mud, then showered off, and then anointed with sweet-smelling lotions. I was given a bathrobe and a full day pass to the quiet gardens and pools behind the spa. Needless to say, it was very relaxing, and I realized that I need to do it again. Soon.

At the end of the trip we left Mesquite and went back to Vegas, where we did not receive a room upgrade, but found ourselves adjoining a loud neighbor through a thin wall. We moved rooms, dragging our eight pieces of luggage with us. That includes the plastic booster seat, the car seat, the Kelty backpack, the cooler full of tofu and other half-eaten baby food, the backpack full of toys, the diaper bag, the baby, and our own luggage.

Once settled, we went out on the town with Melina. We met up with Jeff's dad & Alba at Il Fornaio, an Italian restaurant in the New York, New York casino. Melina behaved herself fabulously and we had a really nice time. On the way back, Melina was awed by the bright lights and neon. Throughout the whole trip, she showed an affinity for the slot machines, and was repeatedly told that babies are not allowed to loiter near the slots.

On our last night, Frank & Alba watched Melina for a few hours so Jeff and I could go out on the town. Since we weren't organized or motivated enough to buy show tickets, we were free to roam the strip, and ended up at the top of the faux Eiffel Tower at the Paris casino. From there we could see the fountains at the Bellagio and the strip in all its glory. The next day, after hours of trekking down the strip, across pedestrian bridges, and through casinos, we went to the Shark Reef exhibit at Mandalay Bay, which was very well done. Basically, it's an aquarium of predatory fish and sharks, set inside an ancient, sunken stone temple. I'm glad we went.

The trip home last night was unremarkable. Melina fell asleep as the plane took off (thank God) and woke up as the plane landed. She cried a bit, but it was manageable. Jeff took off to retrieve our car, ending the trip with the same small near-disasters that we began with. First he went to the wrong parking lot, then when he arrived, the battery was dead. Luckily he got a jumpstart and picked us up at 11:30, just as Melina and I were about to blow our mutual gaskets.

All in all, it was a relaxing trip. Melina did great, although we are still somewhat sleep deprived, and traveling with all her luggage can be exhausting. I feel a little more confident about going on plane trips with her in the future - though not too soon.

First year appointment

Melina had her one-year well-baby appointment yesterday. She continues to be a skinny little stringbean with a big head. Her official stats are: 90th percentile for head size; 75th for height; and 20th for weight. The doctor said that based on her current height, it's likely she'll be 5'6" as an adult. It's strange to have this glimpse of the future Melina. Will her hair be blond, red, or brunette? Will her eyes ever decide between green, gray, brown or blue? Will she be a Democrat or a Green Party member? The doctor couldn't tell me.

Today we leave for a short trip to Las Vegas and Mesquite, Nevada. Given Melina's nap schedule, I expect to be spending a lot of time reading in a hotel room, interspersed with trips to the swimming pool. It will be her first plane flight, so I'll let you know how it goes.

Meanwhile, here's a picture of her with her favorite chew toy, a bottle of Infant Tylenol.

Four molars

Poor baby M is getting four molars at once. They look wicked, too - little wicked sharp points poking up through her gums, three per molar. This afternoon she just cried and cried, which is really unusual. I gave her some Tylenol and that seemed to help. She has 12 teeth now, which is a lot for a one-year-old.

An Interview with Jennifer Margulis

Jennifer Margulis is the author of the new book Why Babies Do That: Baffling Baby Behavior Explained, an entertaining look at some of the most frequently asked questions about our mysterious little family members. Jennifer is also editor of, and contributing author to Toddler: Real Life Stories of Those Fickle, Irrational, Urgent, Tiny People We Love, a compendium of thoughtful and funny essays by moms and dads of toddlers. Jennifer is the creative nonfiction editor of the online journal LiteraryMama and contributes to the Mother Talk series of literary salons. I interviewed her about her recent book and how she gets the time to write with three little ones at home.

Octopus Jenny: Tell me a little about Why Babies do That and how you got the idea to write the book.

Jennifer M: The publisher actually invited me to write this book. They have a series (Why Dogs Do That, Why Cats Do That, etc.) and they wanted to branch out into baby books. The editor was actually expecting her first child and I think that was one of their motivations. But the idea behind the book is to inspire and inform parents, especially new parents, about baby behavior. Babies are bizarre little creatures, they do a lot of weird stuff, and this book helps explain why. So it's meant to be both informative and reassuring (and fun to read).

O.J.: How did you learn the answers to these questions?

Jennifer M: I spent several months researching the answers, talking to specialists (psychologists, doctors, researchers, and moms--who are the ones who know the most). I have also worked on a child survival campaign in Africa and have three children of my own. So I brought my professional and personal experience to the book as well.

O.J.: What was the most interesting thing you learned about babies while you were researching the book?

Jennifer M: That's a hard question to answer. I learned so many interesting things. Perhaps the most interesting was about head banging. I had no idea it was so normal or common (I have three children and no head bangers) and that even babies who are getting lots of attention may bang their heads. The American Academy of Child Psychiatry has reported that up to 20% of otherwise normal babies will bang their heads. I mentioned this at a talk I gave and there were so many people in the audience nodding in agreement--all parents of head bangers who were otherwise normal, healthy kids.

O.J.: Tell me a little about your other book, Toddler.

Jennifer M: Toddler is the book I wanted to read but couldn't find on the shelves when my girls were little. I had my first two children 19 months apart and to say I felt like I was going crazy is a gross understatement. My "easy" baby morphed into a really challenging toddler and my second child came out screaming and screamed for what felt like forever. I wanted to see how other parents tackled the toddler years--I was so hungry for real-life stories from real moms and dads. How to books never really helped me (though I read them and continue to read them) but I always appreciated reading about other peoples experiences. That's why I like to read blogs, too.

O.J.: You mean my little angel could become... difficult? Say it ain't so.

Jennifer M: Not your baby, of course!

O.J.: Do you have any favorite blogs you can recommend to parents of young ones?

Jennifer M: There are so many good blogs out there for new parents. I really like “So Close,” “Fussy,” and “Suburban Turmoil,” but there are dozens of others I enjoy reading as well. (And if you visit the blogs that are stops on my baby blog book tour, you’ll find all the best ones!)

O.J.: Based on reading Toddler, it sounds like your mom was, um, a challenge. How does she feel about the book?

Jennifer M: She said: "ripped jeans, floss in my teeth? Sounds like an accurate description of me!" and she has bought books for everyone she knows, and continues to give them as gifts. My mom is very upfront about her shortcomings and never pretended to be a good mom, or to like being a mom. She's an internationally known microbiologist, one of the only women ever elected to the National Academy of Science. She's been awarded a presidential medal of honor. So at least she has a legitimate excuse for neglecting us!

O.J.: Any other books in the works?

Jennifer M: I'm working on a book about West Africa right now, and I just found out that my family and I will spend next year in Niger. I got a Fulbright Fellowship and I'll be researching the book and teaching a class or two at the university in Niamey.

O.J.: That sounds fantastic. How do you think your kids will handle the transition? Are you doing anything special to prepare them?

Jennifer M: I think it will be easier for my little ones than for my husband, who doesn’t like the heat. We talk about it all the time, we’re learning French together, we play pretend stuffy games about going on airplanes and being in Africa. It will be a huge change for all of us but it should be a fascinating experience.

O.J.: How's your blog tour going?

Jennifer M: It's wonderful so far. It's great to see what bloggers write about. Fussy's entry was hilarious and I had a PR person in Portland (whom I've corresponded with because I'm working on updating a guidebook) who reads her regularly tell me she was buying the book for a friend. It's amazing to be able to go all the way to South Africa (So Close is on the tour. Her stop was May 2nd) and Western Australia but stay in my pajamas!

O.J.: Finally, how DO you find the time for all these projects with three kids? Some days I can barely find the time to make myself a bowl of cereal.

Jennifer M: It's not easy and if you could see my house right now (it looks like a train crashed in the living room--the kids decided to make a fort with the couch and... well, I'll spare you the details) you wouldn't be so impressed. Seriously, housework is the first thing to go. In order to be a productive writer (and this is the way my husband and I support our family of five) and an attentive mom, I really have to prioritize. I don't get enough sleep and my house is often a disaster (which is honestly hard for me. I used to look forward to cleaning my apartment on Saturday mornings when I was in my 20s!).

I also write magazine articles, my weekly column in the Ashland Daily Tidings called "Tales From the Crib," and a monthly travel article. And I consult with other writers to help them get published. Writing is my job. If I don't do it we don't eat. I think that's the secret. Also, I have a very supportive husband who also works from home and we switch off with the kids as much as possible to give each other time to write. I really care about being a good mom though, which is why I'm often sleep-deprived. Even if I have a pressing deadline, I wait until the kids go to sleep before I finish any work leftover from the morning (morning is my time to write, afternoon is my husband's). My other secret is dried mango. I swear it makes you smarter and more focused and I eat dollar-depleting quantities of it when I'm on deadline.

Groovin'

Melina has just started groovin' to music, even the little tinny tunes that come out of some of her toys. She just sort of starts shaking whenever she hears music. At first I wasn't sure if it was dancing, but I'm pretty sure it is.

Also, she sings along with any machine that makes a continuous hum (vacuum cleaner, coffee grinder, concrete cutter rented by husband). The amazing thing is that she usually hums on key, which makes me think we have a talented little songbird in our midst.

Other recent accomplishments include going up and down stairs (she's been doing that for a while), "cruising," walking out in front of me (holding on to both my hands), doing the sign for "milk" (even though I'm not sure if she knows what it means), babbling in ever-evolving ways, and having miniature temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way - for example when I won't let her crawl off the end of our very tall bed.

Thanks, mom and dad!

My parents returned to France today after spending six months taking care of Melina while I worked part-time. Just wanted to say thanks for all of your help, including folding baskets of tiny baby clothes, doing our dishes, changing dirty diapers, putting up with Melina's endless efforts to fight sleep, and helping her learn to walk! We're all looking forward to seeing you again in October!

Melina's three birthday parties

Melina turned one on the 26th. Amazing. First of all, amazing that a year has gone by so quickly, but also amazing that the first three months, which never seemed like they would end, did in fact pass. Amazing that Melina has changed from a cute little blob to an extremely cute, opinionated, spirited little person. Amazing that we managed to keep her (and ourselves) alive despite a year of sleep deprivation - and amazing that the day after her birthday, she slept for seven hours straight for the first time since she was 3 months old!

We had three different birthday parties for her. The first was a joint party with a friend who was turning 39. We had a big barbeque at Mt. Tabor with lots of adults and children, and games, and cake, and hot dogs, and presents for little Miss M. The second birthday (her real birthday) we went out for Ethiopian food with her grandparents and aunt and uncle from California. (We picked Ethiopian because Melina likes it and because this way we could all eat with our hands). We were planning to have cake afterward, but the guest of honor fell asleep so we had a third little party the next day where she got to mash up cake. Lemon cake, for posterity.

This is a photo of Melina with my coworker Mary, probably taken a moment before she ripped the hat from her head.

Adventures in the culinary arts

I think Melina does just about every obnoxious thing a dining baby can do in this video, short of upending the food tray. Unfortunately you can't hear her loud belch at the end.


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Welcome Gwen and Maya!

My friend Becky, and my other friend Raf, just had babies within days of each other. We went down to Corvallis to see Becky's little baby Gwen on Saturday. All wrinkly red eight pounds of her. Melina, at 11 months old, is a giant in comparison. It's really amazing how much they change in one short year! I hope all of the new parents and babies are doing well. I haven't seen little Maya yet but I have a stuffed pink frog who is eager to meet her.

I left, and returned, and we all survived

Last week I had to go to Sacramento for work for two nights. I was pretty sure that either the plane was going to crash, or an angry constituent of my government agency was going to off me, and Jeff would have to raise the baby alone. Fortunately, none of that happened, although there was some major flooding that didn't quite reach the hotel. I managed to get nine hours of sleep the first night and seven and a half the next night despite a 7:30 staff meeting. And I went out and had three lemon drops with my coworkers. Granted, I was very sad to leave little Miss M at the airport, and happy to see her when I returned, but she didn't seem phased at all by my absence, and Jeff did fine. Maybe it's true that the change will do you good.

Query

Query: why would an anarchist buy two jars of raspberry jam (and nothing else) at 9:30 at night? The unsmiling guy in black behind me seemed very serious about his jam. My theories are that a) somebody is making window cookies and forgot the main ingredient; b) he is very poor and survives on jam's high sugar content; c) he really likes jam; or d) he's on a strange diet, similar to the one Jeff is on where there is pretty much nothing else he can eat. (Actually, Jeff can't eat jam either. It has sugar.)

Um, I found my keys.

When you have a baby nobody warns you that you're going to start losing your keys. At least, that's my excuse. Today I ripped the house apart searching for my keys (which happen to have a tiny, workable Visa card attached to them). I searched through my purse, searched the diaper bag, the baby carrier, my rain jacket, my fleece jacket, my fleece vest, my grocery bag, my purse again, Jeff's car, my car, the diaper bag again. I found two binkies and four used cloth diapers that had been fermenting for days. But I didn't find my keys until I was at the grocery store and looked in my purse for the THIRD time. My purse is an eight-inch green ball with handles. There they were in the pocket.

And now a word from Melina

mjmmmmjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjcxrwewxd mjcedj mjj jjjjjx/xys4rew3 d nkk2,3n k./

Melina's First Word

...is either "kitty," which she pronounces "k...t....k...t..." in a faint whisper, or "mama," which seems to mean "I'm unhappy, so pick me up," or "byebye," which she hasn't actually SAID yet, but has inferred through hand gestures and tones.

Uh, oh, I just heard her sneeze. Nap's over.

The scientist in the crib

Melina's scientific career began this month as she [was] volunteered to test Nice Cubes, a new kind of frozen organic baby food being studied at the OSU Food Innovation Center. The cubes (which aren't actually cube-shaped at this stage of testing) are microwaved for 30 seconds and then fed to baby just like regular jarred food. Melina has to try them alongside regular jarred organic baby food. So far, we have only tried one flavor (sweet potatoes). I vastly preferred the Nice Cubes to the jarred variety, but Melina seemed indifferent. Perhaps she was having an off day; we will try again several times before making a final verdict. Melina is now the third generation in our family to test foods for OSU. My dad tested sports drinks, I tested french fries and ice cream (oh, what a heavy burden that was) - and now Melina is carrying on the proud tradition.

Melina contemplates the new life within

I didn't expect to be a grandmother quite so soon...

Busy, busy, busy

Melina and I have been busy little bees lately. Last week she and my mom went with me to a work meeting in Seattle. We all lived in a very small hotel room together for three days, which was an interesting adventure. Apart from severe sleep deprivation, it worked out pretty well. Melina got to go swimming for the second time in her life in the hotel pool. She LOVED it. She kept trying to push away from me like an impatient mer-baby anxious to swim on her own. I think this kid is definitely ready for swimming lessons, if we can find a pool warm enough for her. (She doesn't have a lot of blubber, and she gets cold fast!).

Apart from swimming, Melina also got lots of attention from the people at the meeting and got to see mom at work, which I know will be meaningful to her as she contemplates her career objectives. She also ate a lot of Spanish rice, crawled around on new carpets, abandoned her sleep schedule, and cried most of the way home from Seattle.

Ugh

I'm recovering from a bout of food poisoning - or stomach flu, not sure which. I was up all night on Wednesday night puking every hour for about seven hours straight. Yesterday I was a complete useless wreck, but I'm crawling back to normalcy now. Luckily my parents came over yesterday and took care of Melina while Jeff was at work. I couldn't have done it by myself. I had a fever of about 101 most of the day.

Ugh.

Watch this and weep

I found this very sweet music video via Bridgermama. It reduced me to a blubbering wreck, but I'm feeling sorta fragile today.

...and this will get you laughing again

This mama looks amazingly relaxed for someone with quadruplets!

A post that has nothing to do with sleep

Melina's doing a lot of new things now. It's pretty amazing how much she has changed over the last few months. I think the period between six and nine or ten months is really one of the most interesting in terms of development. (So far, anyway!). She's mastered the art of crawling, pulling herself up, and standing, and she's climbing up the stairs (seven times yesterday!). She's also saying new words. She will look at me in the middle of the night and very seriously say "Ga." I'm sure it's supposed to mean something, but I can't fathom what. Probably something like "Why don't you go downstairs and make me a nice cup of warm milk while I lay here and bask in the comfort of this feather pillow?" She will also wave goodbye when you say "bye bye," even if you don't wave first; and she enjoys climbing all over the cat.

She's eating everything under the sun, including dust bunnies, fuzz balls, ancient pieces of dried tofu, and sequins. She also enjoys fresh tofu squares (the girl LOVES tofu), chicken, puffed rice, puffed kamut, cheerios, polenta, green beans (especially Thai fried green beans), eggless egg salad (made from tofu, of course), broccoli (sometimes), peas (sometimes), and stewed prunes (always!). We gave her some pretty spicy Cajun chicken the other day and she gobbled it up. Looks like she's going to be an adventurous eater, which is a big relief for mama!

A sleep truce

We have reached a truce with the sleep issues. Now we have Melina's crib up next to the bed at night. She sleeps there, and either Jeff or I soothe her and get her back to sleep when she wakes up. Supposedly, according to the "No Cry Sleep Solution," this will eventually lead to her sleeping all night, and we can gradually move the crib away from our bed. According to other books, this is just teaching her to wake up all night. Who really knows? Anyway, one or the other of us can sleep in the basement when we need a good night's sleep. Hopefully something will shift soon and Melina will start sleeping better. At this point I don't know what else to do!

My video-enabled baby

I'm sick of writing about sleep. I know at some point I will pour out on this blog all the oily black horror that was Thursday night's failed attempt at "crying it out" (complete with Jennifer fleeing south on the freeway at 3:00 a.m.), but I can't do it now. So here's a nice little video of Melina to keep you occupied in the meantime.


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Sleep Update

Only for those who are truly interested in the minutiae of infant sleep...

We have made limited progress on the sleep front. Melina will now sleep in her crib for naps, and it *usually* takes less than 15 minutes to get her to fall asleep. Since I installed a fan for white noise next to her crib, she has been waking up every 40 minutes instead of every 20 minutes - I guess that's a 100% improvement (or is it 50%? I was never good at math.) But it's very, very rare that she will nap for more than one hour, unless I'm lying in bed next to her.

She now goes to sleep in her crib around 8:30, which is still far too late, according to "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," a book that I have very mixed feelings about. I think "Healthy Sleep Habits, Guilty and Confused Parent" would be a better title. Anyway, apparently she should be going to sleep around 7:00 - or even 6:00! That's not going to happen. As it is, she will sleep for an hour, wake up (having tossed out the binky), go back to sleep immediately, wake up around 10:00, go back to sleep after some intervention, wake up at 11:00, eat, and then not go back to sleep in her crib at all. At that point she comes into our bed and sleeps either soundly or not very soundly, with a few feedings in the middle of the night.

DH has proposed starting a "cry it out" program tomorrow night. After about a month of sitting next to her crib for most of the evening, I am ready to give it a shot. Several of the women on my iVillage baby board have had success at CIO, with less pain than they anticipated. I am still resisting it. I have taken what the Sears Baby Book says to heart - that CIO will break the bonds that bind us, and probably send Melina into several years of therapy down the road.

I read what Doppelganger wrote about her feelings of depression after her baby finally started sleeping well. I so understand. I really love waking up in the middle of the night and seeing Melina's almond eyes looking up at me, and I even love her pulling my hair and scritching me with her little claws all night long. I know I'll still get to sleep next to her once in a while - probably for naps - and I'll be seeing her at night when I feed her. But this will be the end of a really nice era. Soon she'll be applying to colleges...

Battle of the sleep books

I've been reading far too many books about infant sleep lately. Here's a blog entry by someone on my "baby board" that describes the problem much better than I can in my sleep deprived state:

50 Books: BOOKS: All I Want for Christmas Is a Good Night's Sleep...

Restaurant Review: Aja Pacific Kitchen

Melina writes: Although we've been to several restaurants lately (Arabian Breeze, Matanza, Bridgeport Gasthaus), I will always have a special place in my heart for Aja because it's the first place where I actually had a dish ordered for me. Oatmeal! And not that gross just-add-water oatmeal that comes in cardboard boxes, but real creamy, hot oatmeal in a real bowl. Mama fed it to me on the handle end of a spoon, despite my efforts to feed it to myself. And it was hot! Temperature adds a whole new dimension to food, doesn't it? Why didn't someone tell me before? I also liked the fried potatoes, which I was allowed to feed myself. I think I got some fried onions too. Good stuff! One nice thing about this restaurant is that the acoustics really amplify your squeals, especially after the breakfast rush is over and there aren't many people around. Also, the waitress didn't pick up our dishes right away so there was plenty to play with in between bites.

Five new teeth!

Last week Melina pushed out five new teeth all in the same week. It's amazing that she wasn't more grumpy than she was. She still had a smile for every stranger in the grocery store. What a trooper! Now she has eight teeth in all.

Crawling!

Melina has just started really crawling (which might also explain some of her frequent night wakings.) She's been working on her crawling skills since Christmas, but on her 9 month birthday she finally figured out how to tuck one leg under her and began marching across the floor. Now she's really mobile. Kitty, look out!

Day 6 of the No Cry Sleep Solution

We're having some success with the new system! I've been trying to keep Melina on a general nap schedule (10:30-11:00, 2-3:30, 5:30-6, give or take an hour or so). She's getting more sleep and is going to bed easier. Also, the nighttime ritual seems to be helping her realize that it's time to sleep. I start the process at 8:30 and she goes to bed at 9:00. Last night she was really tired so we skipped reading a book and she fell asleep *immediately* without any fight at all. How wonderful! She has also successfully soothed herself back to sleep at least once, though most other times I have had to either pat her back to sleep or pick her up and let her fall asleep in my arms (which she does almost immediately). She is finally done with teething, for now, so that has made life much more bearable.

Successes so far:

• Goes to sleep much faster
  
• Has soothed self back to sleep at least once
  
• Has slept in crib past 11:00 a few times
  
• Has been waking up at night less often (twice instead of four times)
  

Challenges:

• Still wakes up every half an hour or so until 11:00 pm
  
• Usually wakes up at 11:00 and sleeps in our bed for the rest of the night
  
• Still addicted to the binky
  

The next steps:

• Work on reducing night wakings (more feedings during daytime, etc.)
  
• Work on getting her to soothe herself back to sleep more (she might do this herself)
  
• Reduce reliance on the binky.
  

And Jeff says I'm not systematic enough!!

Day 1 of the No-Cry Sleep Solution

Yesterday was our first day trying out ideas from The No-Cry Sleep Solution. Results were mixed (though since it was the first day, and she is still teething, I didn't expect miracles). I had set up a nap schedule of 11:30 and 1:30. She napped at 12:00 and 2:00, so I wasn't far off. I lay down with her for the 2:00 nap, and she slept well until 3:30, which is great. At 7:30 (the new bedtime), it only took 15 minutes to get her to sleep after a brief nighttime ritual. I was thrilled! Then, 20 minutes later, she woke up. I spent 45 minutes trying to get her back to sleep, and finally gave up. She finally fell asleep on our bed at 10:00 pm, and spent the night there, waking up about 4 times during the night to nurse.

I think there are a few lessons here:

• Trying to sleep-train a baby who is still teething is pretty much impossible.
  
• Research shows that night waking peaks in babies around 9 months old (here). (Melina just turned 9 months today!)
  
• It's normal for babies this age to wake during the night, though four times a night is pushing it (here).
  
• Melina is used to going to bed around 9, so starting her out at 7:30 is too early. Tonight we'll try 8:30. Maybe some babies are just night owls?
  
• Lots of moms on my online baby board still rock their babies to sleep; they won't fall asleep alone in their cribs.
  
• This, too, shall pass.
  

Snow baby

Melina's already gone skiing twice this winter. We put her in our new Chariot Cougar sled and she either sleeps or cries until we put her in a front pack on daddy's chest. So far, both trips have been a success. I can't wait until she's 3 and we can put her on tiny little skis.

Sleep trials

We are entering the age of sleep trials. For the first seven months or so, we were co-sleeping with Melina and generally following the attachment parenting routine (feed on demand, co-sleep, wear the baby when possible). This was easy when Melina was swaddled up and didn't have free will. But starting around 7.5 months she refused to be swaddled anymore and thrashed around in the bed so much I couldn't sleep. Then around 8.5 months she started crawling and would practice in the middle of the night. We bought a crib and have been trying to teach her to sleep in it, but she's been teething and waking up every two hours wanting to nurse. Today we're starting a new system with ideas from the No Cry Sleep Solution. Starting today, we'll try to stick to a napping schedule (10:30 and 1:30, which seem to be her usual naptimes) and an earlier bedtime (7:30) along with a routine before bedtime and lots of feeding leading up to bed. We're going to try this for 7-10 days to see if there's any improvement. If not, we'll try a modified cry-it-out routine. I'm not sure how we'll go about doing it. Someone on my baby board had a lot of luck putting the baby in bed after the first feeding every night. The baby cried 15 minutes on the first night, less on the second, and one minute on the third. I have a feeling Melina will cry longer than that, but I could be wrong. I'll try to post with the results of our efforts.

Post a comment!

Hey, I'd love to know who (if anyone) is reading this blog. Please post a comment and let me know so I don't feel like I'm writing in a void (or just to my parents). Thanks!

Restaurant review: Henry's (on Burnside)

Melina writes: This is one of my favorite restaurants. We've been there as many times as I have hands, plus one. When you first get to the restaurant they give you a shiny thing that looks like a remote control. I gummed it for a while and stared at the flashing lights until it started beeping. Tres amusant! The restaurant is dark, with a nice womblike hum, and I managed to get a good nap on mama's lap the first time we went. The wait staff smiled at me a lot and I heard other babies nearby. (It's always good to know you have other babies around to back you up.) It's loud enough that nobody raises an eyebrow if you want to screech. I was a little peeved that they wouldn't let us into the bar, though. Apparently, I'm still a minor. However, they made up for it by giving me some nice romaine lettuce (Lactuca sativa) to play with. They also have high chairs with straps that keep me from sliding to the floor. I hate that.

Introducing the Date Report

The Date Report: My friend "Norene" is going on three dates a week until April. Hear her thoughts! Judge the dates for yourself!

Restaurant review: Bella Faccia pizza

Melina writes: This is the first restaurant I ever went to, when I was 8 days old. My memory of that night isn't very clear (newborn baby and all), but I do remember some very unwomblike sounds coming from somewhere, and hot air blowing from a big humming thing. Naturally, that made me cry, so daddy put me on his lap. I can't speak to the quality of the food or the high chairs since I was so inexperienced and naive in those days.

Melina's restaurant reviews

Melina's grandpa recommended that Melina start writing reviews of the restaurants she visits. She thought it over for a while and decided that it would be a useful service for other babies who are helping their parents choose where to dine. Her reviews (dictated to mama) will be posted in italics to differentiate them from my posts.

Baby's new year!

Well, I have been a very bad blogger for the last two months. Much has happened - Christmas, New Year's, new teeth, progress toward crawling. Melina went an entire day saying "nang nang nang nang nang" over and over. Her Yaya (Jeff's mom) was visiting and I think she thrived on all the extra attention. She was the belle of the ball at a Christmas party, smiling and flirting with all in her maroon chiffon and black velvet gown. She was grinning from ear to ear for most of the party, although she was too excited to sleep. She seemed fairly oblivious to Christmas itself, retreating for a nap in the middle of the festivities, although at Christmas dinner she enjoyed mashing potatoes in her fingers. She spent New Year's at Black Butte Ranch with Linnea, who is almost exactly a year older than Melina.

This past weekend Melina and I went down to Corvallis to visit my friend Tara, who just had a daughter as well. Melina welcomed the new baby with a firm handshake and a few general pokes. It's hard to imagine that in three years or so they'll be running around together!

Yesterday we took Melina cross-country skiing at Teacup Lake in her new Chariot sled. She did very well (that is, she slept) for the first half of the ski trip, and then after some complaining she spent the second half in a front pack on Dad's chest. All in all, it was a success, and I'm sure we'll be going on more ski trips in the future. The Chariot works very well, and we're glad we bought it. It turns into a bike trailer in the summer.

In terms of development, Melina has made lots of progress with crawling. I saw her take two crawl-steps forward today, though she prefers to go backward. She also has two new teeth, including one on top. That's four in all. And we finally bought her a crib last week, which she is sleeping in now. She won't sleep through the night in it, but at least we have one to work with.

When Lapland Babies Go to Church

As the weather changes, I've been wondering how other cultures, especially those in northern climates, deal with babies in cold weather. I found this on the web and thought it was amazing.
(http://www.gutenberg.org/files/14101/14101.txt)

When Sunday morning comes, the Lapland father harnesses his reindeer to the sleigh. Father and mother wrap themselves in fur coats and put a fur coat on the baby, and away they go over the snow to church, it may be ten or even fifteen miles, for the reindeer can go a good deal
faster than a horse.

But the old Lapland custom of caring for the babies while the grown people are in church, you never would guess. For as soon as the reindeer is made secure, the father Lapp shovels out a snug little bed in the snow, and when it is ready the mother Lapp wraps the baby snug and warm in skins and lays it down there. Then the father Lapp piles the snow around and over the baby, when they go into the church and
leave the baby in the snow. So common is this that sometimes there are twenty or thirty babies, down to the little wee-est ones, buried in snow around the church.

You might think the babies would suffocate, but they do not, nor do they freeze. In fact, the snow does not make them cold. For when it covers anyone all over, if they have clothes enough on, so the snow will not melt and wet them, it will keep them warm. And as the little Lapland babies are not strong enough to knock the snow away and let in the cold, they just lie there safe and warm and go to sleep.

When church is out the father Lapp goes to the spot where his baby is, puts his hands down into the snow, pulls the baby our and shakes the snow off it; then the reindeer is unfastened, father and mother tuck themselves and the baby in the sleigh, and over the snow away they trot home again. (1914, "Dew Drops")

Still not sleeping through the night

OK, I heard from an online friend of mine that her daughter is sleeping from 9 pm to 7 am every night without waking up. She is almost exactly the same age as Melina. What's up with that? Melina still wakes up about twice during the night to feed. The friend's baby is eating solids and formula, and sleeps in a crib; this may be the difference. Melina is breastfeeding and sleeping in our bed, and has just begun eating solids. Apparently, babies who sleep in cribs sleep longer. I'm thinking it's about time to make that transition, because I need more sleep. I've been continuously sleep deprived for about 2 weeks; before that I got a few good nights of sleep, and before that I've been sleep deprived for five and a half months. Actually, no, longer than that, because I couldn't sleep when I was pregnant, either. Anyway, I like having M. in the bed with us - it's nice to wake up to a little baby. When I wake up in the middle of the night I just look at her sleeping peacefully, and that's usually relaxing enough to get me back to sleep. I think it's good for her, too, to be next to us as much as possible for these first few months. However, this sleep deprivation has got to stop. We haven't bought a crib yet, but perhaps we should start looking for one.

First Halloween

Last night was Melina's first Halloween. She dressed as a pirate with a black and white bandana, a puffy white shirt, jeans, and little black satin shoes. Needless to say, she was exquisitely cute. We had a very busy day, starting with a trip to Pix Patisserie at 2:30 to meet with someone in my mom's group (whose daughter, 5 months, was dressed as a pumpkin); then we went to the Kennedy School to meet with another mom, whose son was dressed as a bumblebee. The Kennedy School was crawling with toddlers in cute little costumes - bees and princesses seemed to be the most popular. Unfortunately, all this activity meant that Melina missed her nap, so she got grumpy just as we were sitting down for a well-deserved pint of ale. I brought her home and she got a quick nap in as the trick-or-treaters began showing up. Later, when Jeff was home, we went for a walk around the neighborhood while Melina looked around or slept in her stroller. I don't think six months is really the optimum age for enjoying Halloween. I'm looking forward to next year, when she should be able to toddle around on her own.

A half birthday

I hosted a party for Melina's half birthday (Jeff was in Minneapolis for work). It was also my friend Sue's half-birthday, so with two half-birthdays we had a full cake, along with pumpkin carving. Melina slept through much of the first half of the party, but woke up in time to mash some cake into bits and make the rounds of admiring friends. She was decked out in several layers of pink (photo to be posted soon). A good time was had by all.

Melina's first shots

Melina's first vaccinations went off without a hitch. She was real trooper. She didn't cry or really even bat an eyelash, and she had no delayed reactions to the shots. As for her stats, she has shrunk a bit since her last visit to the doctor: she is now at the 50th percentile for length and the 25th for weight (14.6 pounds). Her head remains large at 70%!

Vaccinations!

Today Melina goes in for her first vaccinations. I waited until she was 6 months old to get any shots, because it just seems unnecessarily cruel to subject a tiny baby to vaccinations (especially if she's not in daycare). Also, I wanted to wait until her system was a little stronger. Vaccinations are so controversial in certain circles - on one hand I feel like a terrible mother risking her life unnecessarily (especially after reading Mothering magazine). Dr. Sears, on the other hand (who is also on the alternative parenting side of things) is pro-vaccine. Anyway, I don't want her to get sick, and I generally believe in vaccinating kids. Today she gets the whooping cough and HIB vaccines. Whooping cough seems to pop up here every winter, so I think it's a good idea. I am not looking forward to it, though. Apparently I'm supposed to act like nothing is wrong, greet the doctor as if I'm glad to see her, massage Melina's arm before the shot, and then instantly distract her with a toy. She doesn't seem so into toys lately, but maybe a bowl of spaghetti would work...

Lots of laughs!

Jeff got Melina laughing last night more than I've ever heard her laugh before. He made a bunch of funny faces and whooshing sounds that she found absolutely hilarious. It was unbelievably cute. We got some of it on video (sideways, unfortunately... it's so hard to remember not to do that!).

Babies on the way!

I know so many people who are pregnant right now, or who have just had babies. My friend Amelia just had a baby boy, Andrew, last week; my friend Tara is due on November 7; my friend Becky is due in late March; and my neighbor across the street is due October 28. Very exciting! I can't wait to get all these babies in one room!

No rolling yet

Melina still hasn't rolled over on her own. It's strange, because she is very advanced in other areas. She's been holding her head up since she was about 1 month old, and has been standing for 2 months. Now she briefly can sit up unsupported before flopping over onto her side, but she still has yet to turn over. I wonder if it's because I don't give her enough tummy time, or maybe because we're still swaddling her at night? She sleeps so much better swaddled up. When she's in our bed it's impossible to sleep with her if she's not swaddled, due to flailing limbs. She doesn't really like to be on her tummy, though she's definitely getting better at it. After a few minutes of looking and grabbing at the rug, she starts to cry; she doesn't show any interest in (or awareness of) turning over by herself. Oh well. I guess she'll figure it out eventually...

Grabby grabby!

According to my Dr. Sears Baby Book, the primary accomplishment for baby's fifth month is to accurately reach out and grab things. Melina has been working hard on mastering this skill. She can now reach out and grab an eye, a nose, a string bean, a few single hairs, a fork, a cup of coffee, a dinner plate... Now when we go out to dinner she can sit up in a lap (propped up with arms on both sides). She puts both hands on the table and can reach out and slap or prod whatever happens to be on your plate. It must be so much more satisfying for her to actually grab the things that interest her! As an adult, it's a whole new world of keeping hazardous items out of her grip.

Squishy squash

Last night we tried giving Melina some "solids" for the first time. She's been showing a lot of interest in food lately - studying what we're eating and grabbing at our food. That, plus the two teeth, is a sign that she might be ready to start solids. (Though why they're called solids I don't really understand...)

I wanted her to have "real" food for her first try (as opposed to prepared baby food), so I mashed up some acorn squash and Jeff fed it to her on his finger. She gummed it for a bit and rolled it around in her mouth with a "what the hell is this?" expression on her face. There was no apparent moment of epiphany; instead she spit most of it out and grabbed for the empty squash skin, which provided several minutes of messy entertainment. We'll try again in a few days with more squash. (Apparently you're supposed to give them the same food over and over for several days, to get them used to it and to watch for any allergic reactions).

I was a little disappointed in her reaction. I wanted her to get all excited and start bouncing up and down. I guess she's not quite a "foodie" yet.

Back to work

I'm on my third week of half-time work now. I was kind of dreading it, but it's not that bad, especially since the rainy season has started and it would be dreary to hang around the house all day. It's nice to be using new parts of my brain, and to be able to respond to emails and drink coffee with both hands. I'm working a full day on Mondays, and half days (until 1:00) on Tuesday through Thursday. The biggest challenge is not getting quite as much sleep as I was before, though I can still take naps in the afternoon. Luckily we found a wonderful person to take care of Melina; she's our old neighbor, and a friend. She has a ten-year-old daughter who also comes over after school on Mondays to play with the baby. I have no doubt that Melina is in very good hands, and she doesn't seem to be unhappy or lonely - heck, she doesn't seem to miss me at all when I'm gone. She obviously knows who I am and prefers me over other people at times (especially when she's in the car seat), but she doesn't bat an eyelash when I leave for work. We'll see if that changes as she gets older.

Two real teeth

Melina now officially has teeth. They have pushed up through her gums and can be seen with the naked eye. They both came out at the same time, right in the middle of her lower front gums. They do make breastfeeding a little more interesting, though I haven't really been chomped yet. Apparently we are supposed to start brushing them sometime soon, though that just means rubbing them with gauze. I think I'll wait a few more weeks, until they're more than 2 mm long.

Working on a tooth!

Melina has been hard at work pushing up new teeth, figuring out how to use her hands, and experimenting with new vocalizations. Today I noticed two tiny white ridges pushing through her lower gum - teeth! She has been drooling a lot and complaining a little more than usual, so I'm not that surprised. Today she also discovered that she can use her voice in a new way. Instead of a whiny sound, it's more like a real voice. It's kind of hard to explain.

In the last two weeks, she's also made leaps and bounds in the ability to use her hands. Now she can grab the binkie, pass it from one hand to another, and try to put it back in her mouth - usually upside down. I wouldn't be surprised if she was hammering out Beethoven on the piano by the end of next week.

Apart from that, she's even more interested in what's going on around her. If she hears something interesting while she's eating, she'll turn her head and look around. She's easily distracted and usually easily amused. She's laughing a little more every day, though her laughs still sound a little rusty.

She just managed to pull my glasses off for the first time. What a victory! She studied them for several minutes, grunting softly, and managed to fold them up before losing interest and bursting into tears.

Melina Update

Melina's grandparents Frank and Alba visited last week. We went wine tasting, then went over to Cannon Beach for a night. They were great guests, and were crazy about Miss M. Here's a picture of Melina on the beach.

Katrina Survivors

I met some survivors of Hurricane Katrina today. They were shopping at Marshall's with a check for $650 from the feds. One was a very frail, petite old lady--maybe 80 years old--and the other was a tall, gangly man with a fuzzy beard, a patch over one eye, and bright new tennis shoes. Both were black. They did not look like your typical Portlanders, and they had thick southern accents that were hard for me to follow. I got into a conversation with a large woman in a wheel chair who was related to them. Apparently they had gotten trapped in their attic and had broken out with a sledgehammer and an ax. The old lady had a beautiful grand piano that was destroyed. They were trapped on the roof without food or water for several days, while helicopters flew by. The man told me that he had waved to the helicopters, but none had stopped until maybe the fifth day. Then they were taken to a dry overpass in New Orleans, where they were stuck for several more days. Without food and water. (Couldn't they have been taken somewhere safer??) People were breaking into stores to steal food and water, and were selling it at high prices to those who were trapped. (I learned all of this in a 2-minute elevator ride to the food court). It was amazing to meet people who had been through everything we've seen on the news. It was amazing that this frail 80-year-old lady survived. The whole story was amazing.